Chopper wrote:And, one benefit of free will is the ability to say f*ck it and close the window.
You don't know what you're missing (apart from him turning up with C4 and a dead man's switch at RORC4 looking for a) copies of his Karl Vagan custom b) Roboskulls c) Larry Hama )
Things I couldn’t believe and things that pissed me off…
September 24, 2012
I couldn’t believe it when I found out Charlize Theron is now dating Eric Stonestreet from Modern Family…(which I no longer bother to watch as I’ve gone off it but hey…)
My jaw dropped. Will it last? It would be nice if it did – for the sake of a relationship simply lasting as its none of anyones business really. But I wonder what the hell must be wrong with your humble narrator and friend as he is still single…I expect Mr Stonestreet is probably more down to earth and less of a complete and utter bellend compared to any of her previous beaus…
Its heavily raining outside. Wind charging around. Autumn is truly with us – time to break out the more warmer clothing then…
Well, that part over it seems I’ve begun to realise the meaning of a dream I had recently. Said dream consisted of being so ordinary, so realistic and so vivid it stuck in the mind when I awoke. Basically, in my dream a pregnant woman came to view my house which is for sale in the real world; she looked a lot like Joanna Scanlan who portrays Terri Coverley in The Thick of It and her waters broke – I was taciturn and calm and pragmatic – as I am in real life in a serious crisis – and helped her give birth. I recall the dream including an Arab Estate Agent who proverbially shat himself as most men do in such instances…The dream ended happily but I recall not being able to track her down to find out about the baby, nor giving my contact details – I wondered (in the dream) if she’d had a son and if indeed she’d named him after me…For a time I felt the dream was a good omen – its part of my former Buddhist upbringing that such dreams are portends of good fortune – sadly not so. I came to realise the dream itself signified the realisation that people would let me down, not be true friends but more importantly, never would I find help among people, rather I’d have to go it alone and get things done by myself. I’ve had three people let me down, one a friend, then a former lover and now a long standing neighbour who really, utterly and truly f*cked me off. People do drift apart, but when you come to realise that people disappoint you or let you down, you do tend to become either upset or angry by it – I felt both. My former lover, an older woman I had a few flings with was supposed to be a happy memory and one I’d on and off remain in contact with. I had hoped she’d call me just to have a chat, ask some opinion from on on going personal issues but not so – her avoidance of me led me to realise she was flattering herself into thinking that I was chasing after her again to come down from Norfolk for a good seeing to – I admit, the sex was very good and when I am a horny bugger I go at it like the proverbial clappers. The neighbour, whom is a former Graphic Designer, with a son in said industry too, upon simply being asked if he could give me a few names of companies or if his son knew of places to obtain work decided to – after a few weeks of asking him – to rant and rave over the fact he felt I’d asked him to literally search for him, to knock on doors etc. I hadn’t. He also blustered over benefit recipients and tax payers forking out for them, criticising my c.v. and suggesting I hadn’t bothered to look for work etc…As I was at his place I had to retain my calm – if it had been vice versa I’d have exploded with anger – only I know the misfortunes I’ve experienced and the problems I’ve faced, moreover it is only I who knows how hard I’ve tried to better myself, alas with continual bullshit being heaped upon my head and shoulders to breaking point…My late Father so sagely put it: who the f*ck is he (she)? Your Fairy Godfather (Mother)?! You don’t need advice – what you need is a job!’ He was so right…
People like this make me sick. I fail to see the point of a lecture unless tangible help is going to be proffered. I won’t be remaining on social terms with my neighbour – I actually felt insulted by it all. As for my former para more well, she can sod off too – excuses that they are ‘busy’ with this that and the other do wear thin – and it reeks of how selfish people are really. As for my friend? Hmm, well…I’d rather not ‘bother’ him either. I fear that when someone doesn’t make an effort it does say something, ergo I’ll go it alone…hopefully there will be some light at the end of this long tunnel I’ve been travelling down and at the end of the day I could proudly say of my accomplishments ‘I did that - all on my own’….
I’d much rather have a pet Scottish Fold Cat or two as my friends – their love, friendship and loyalty is indeed….unconditional.
