Blood for the Baron!

I'll start by saying I'm sober and just need to download a bit.

Decided tonight that I no longer believe in God, who cares I hear you cry!

Emma and I work in critical care and have helped save who knows how many lives. I have nightmares about the things I have seen and so does Emma. So you would think that if God existed he would owe us a few, would you agree?

Emma has had another miscarriage, I was keeping a brave face on it until tonight, my wee boy is also a bit sick, just a bug but he has been sick three times. And that has tipped me over the edge.

Any how if god does exist why would he let two health care workers suffer like this? In fact why let anyone suffer.

I'll stop banging on best try and sleep I'm sure I'll be needed soon by my wee boy

You don't need God to be happy, Paul. In fact I've noticed the first requirement is not to be happy. Acceptance of nasty sh*t in the world is hard thing for people to do, especially if you live in a first world bubble. People are born and people die, sometimes it happens outside of the norm, but everyone will be touched by this at some stage and often enough in the worst possible way. Life isn't a dress rehearsal. I am one happy atheist, when you finally realise that when you go, you go, life becomes a hell of a lot more precious.

I'm sorry to hear about Emma, mate. I know what it means to you. All I can say is you have one great kid and loving Wife so I'm sure you have the love and support you need right at home.

I never talk politics or religion (unless it's The Force) but sorry to hear about your situation. Life throws some mean sh*t at us sometimes and you just have to keep going and friends and loved ones and hobbies will get you through almost everything.

Oh Paul, that is awful. I'm so sorry for your loss, you two just hold on to each other until you can breathe again, ok?

I've not been in your shoes, I can't know what you're going through, but I saw it happen to my mum. She suffered a late term miscarriage, so what with that and the death of my little sister, I'm the survivor of three. She won't mind me saying, but in some of our many late night chats about it all as adults, she has often pondered "Did we reap the whirlwind, somehow?"

I always tell her no, she did not deserve it. The hard truth is that dreadful things happen to decent people every single day.

I've wrestled long and hard with religion. My father raised me to be an atheist, which for many years since I have resented. I think he wanted me to question everything, but instead he just segregated me, making it a long hard road for me to question my spirituality. To a small child, parent is God, and for your parent to tell you that he doesn't exist, well, it's just a mess, I won't be making that mistake with my own children, should I have the opportunity.

I freely admit I don't know everything, it's a vast and ancient universe after all. I don't know if we were created by Gods or aliens or chemical reactions, but I do feel this; looking through human history I see no hand of God, only acts of mankind. I see atrocities committed in the many names of God and can only conclude that God either isn't there, or doesn't care. In which case, what kind of God is that? I refuse to believe, I think if all the fanatics cared about this life as much as they cared about the "next" life, the world would be a far happier and safer place.

The only one I choose to worship is my lover, I treat her like she is divine and I feel blessed to have her in my life. Whether we were destined to meet I cannot answer, I'm not thankful to any deity for bringing her into my life, I'm thankful to her for choosing me. Emma's going to need you more than ever right now, man, and I know you are hurting but I'm afraid you have to be strong for both your sakes. I've seen this mess wreck families.

I don't know how far along she was, if you had chosen a name, but don't deny the loss or the grief. Maybe when you're less raw it might be an idea to plant a tree in memory. Thirty years after my sister passed I placed a memorial plaque in her cemetery, they have a special garden just for children which is both beautiful and gut wrenching. It helped me find some peace after a long time of being angry. Try not to go down that road.

I hope I haven't offended anybody's faith, as I say I could be completely wrong so I try to keep an open mind. But if you've had faith all your life until this tragedy, then now is not the time to rediscover yourself, you can't win a war on two fronts and your family must come first.

I'm really, really sorry. My heart goes out to you.

Jim.

My thoughts to you & Emma, Paul.

Now you mention it, Jim, miscarriage isn't a rare occurrence. I've had several friends and family members it has impacted and I've seen the results first hand. What is a rare occurrence is to talk about it. I suppose you'd have to be pretty comfortable to bring it up here, with us lot. Which is a good thing. It probably should be talked about more.

Sorry to read this Herr 463, hopefully you all pull through this OK and there are better times around the corner.

So sorry to hear this, thoughts are with you.