The questions and the honest answers

[gung-hoeddie]

Aye I was 16 when my dad died, I understand you there Rene.

Thanks chaps for the support, it is tough to live with sometimes I make decisions and stupid ones at that, I then think why did I do that but the brain runs on glucose my body can't get enough which messes with my cognitive side in my brain slowing things down or making me think something which is nonsense.

Throw some fatigue in the pan add a few drops of stress and anger and boom I go Renegade, I have for too long tried to hide this stuff. A mistake a big mistake in fact.

A joke and a smiling face can mask a thousand feelings, i have to face reality.

[Hopper]

Isn't it interesting that once you scratch the surface, we all have problems, hidden problems we don't like to share.
But at the risk of sounding like a therapy session, talking about it helps, it really does.

Not that there is anything wrong with a therapy session in fact BFTB as group therapy.

I lost both parents early (21 my dad, 29 my mum), and I miss them both terribly. I divorced horribly from a wife who took my money and my 4 year old daughter to America. I consequently haven't seen my little girl in 4 years, a fact that keeps me awake most nights. And I have suffered from mild(?) depression and severe self medication (a nod to you Double Tap, I'm very fond of a drop, or three) brought on by all of that, and a bunch terrible life choices that often make me rage and moan out loud, including a feeling of failure at not being successful in a field I studied long and hard for (PhD in archaeology, currently earning very little in an unrelated field).

We all stand together, facing reality, getting it off our chests, helping each other, and I think we are stronger for it.
But by God it's difficult, bloody difficult at times.

[Chopper]

A joke and a smiling face can mask a thousand feelings, i have to face reality.

That's the guts of it, old chum. Life is usually an effort to get over our demons. What works for me is channelling that anger into resolving that hurdle. Unfortunately it can result in becoming pretty tiring. I also struggle with anger problem's, got me into a heap of trouble when I was at school but now I have tempered thanks in part to a shift in countries and children.

I will profess that this site is the last bastion of happiness on the net. FB gives me the sh*ts and one of the few things I look forward to in my day is getting on here and seeing what Hopper has come up with, Jim has written, Humby has built, Steve is selling and you have bought for 2 quid from Dave.

Take care, Eddie. I won't wish you luck, you seem to get results when your determination kicks in. I will reiterate what my Poppa used to say, if you worry, you die, if you don't worry, you'll die. So why worry?

[The Baron]

Ed, I had no idea you were struggling with this, I'm sorry to hear it. Like the other guys I can relate - most lately to the sleep deprivation; after my car crash I only slept for four hours a night before waking up, either from the pain or the meds wearing off. Do consult your GP as there are sleep aids out there - but to be fair the best one I found was wearing myself out physically by swimming every day. Other tips are cutting out caffeine, drinking mint tea in the evening (most soothing) and a few drops of lavender oil on your pillow. It lasted for a good three years and it affected my mood terribly.

Don't worry about the job situation, it won't help you in any way. If it goes against you then appeal with medical evidence. The best thing you can do is to keep in touch with your GP and keep them fully informed. I've also gone down the dope route and it is helpful for a time; it's also a slippery slope into daily abuse which can lead to anxiety and paranoia, take it from a former shut-in.

But you know you have family here and you can talk to us about anything, hell if you need a change of scenery there's a spare bed for you (both) in Nottingham Do please keep us informed as you don't have to go through this alone. You're a top bloke and I'm extremely fond of you so please hang on in there, this too shall pass.

[Double-Tap]

Great advice Baron.
When im getting it really tight I cook.
can lose hours in the kitchen and its a great feeling to create something that others enjoy.

[The Black Major]

Eddie, as it's been said already, we all have our dark times, but things do and will get better mate. I've been there too, sleeplessness, anxiety, stress, but it doesn't last forever. I think we all come on here because it's an escape from the world outside. A lot of people here clearly care about you and would do anything to help you through this. All I'll say is chin up mate, you're not alone. There's a lot of people here for you.

[ODB]

I'm sorry to hear that Eddie. I suppose it fleshes out the facebook messages, I thought you were coming out. I don't have a health story to relate but I have been to breaking point with work and all I can say is don't let them grind you down. Plus its good to have an escape.

Surely from an employment point of view doesn't diabetes fall under the disability act? As such you are afforded certain protection.

[Lady Jaye]

I hope you are crawling out of this pit soon. Keep your chin up, but also give yourself space to put it down once in a while when you feel like it. No need to be the tough guy 24/7. Just be Eddie. We are here for you.

[gung-hoeddie]

Thanks guys for the support.

Unfortunately with this disease tablets or remedies do nothing but mess with your blood sugar levels even more which can make the insomnia worse.
It is considered a disability under UK law, I have my disciplinary hearing tomorrow, if they sack me because I have had an episode my view would be that I'm being punished for having a disability.

If they don't sack me then I've already been demonised I fear this may hinder my future, regardless of the outcome I intend to move on and I'm currently in talks with a rival outfit about changing jobs.

I'm getting control of the reigns again, the problem with this thing is emotions are amplified 100% you'll experience extreme anger followed by extreme remorse it is hard when this happens you lose yourself to it.

Given a bit of time I will get back to normal.

[Thundershot]

Fingers crossed it goes all well for you today, Eddie.